Just a thought that came to mind when I was reading the not so daily ramblings of a certain goth of color by the name of Dismantlynn. And that thought was "Do I really want to be goth or is this a phase?" Of course one doesn't know one is in a phase while one is in it does one? Or to put it more simply... how do you know if your 'legit' and being goth for the right reasons? Please don't ask what made me question myself, I really don't know.
Or perhaps I do... maybe it was because I have been reading about goths that have been true to themselves for years now and this made me wonder if I had what it takes to last the test of time. I tried being goth a few years ago when I was 16 but got discouraged by peer pressure (typical I know).
This was my everyday look, and I thought I looked pretty damn good but sadly it was not to last for I quickly backed out of my "phase" since it wasn't received well by friends and family. I don't blame them because I know that I was the one who was too chicken to do what I wanted. But now that I am 18, starting college in August and back to wanting to pursue my dark nature but somehow I am still considering the opinions of others even though I generally pride myself on not caring what people think about me.
And with all this thinking I am wondering if I will eventually give up again or stay true to myself. One of the reasons that made it harder to continue with being goth was that I had no elder goth in my life to lead me or any goth friends or acquaintances, and was completely unaware of the goths populating the internet. BUT now I do know how helpful the internet can be, I plan to suck it dry for all its worth.... cheesy pun intended...
If you have had, used to have, or are currently having a similar experience with this please feel free to comment below or email me about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment